Thursday, March 24, 2011

When the Universe is laughing at you..

I am one of the biggest procrastinators I know. If I could be bothered to "google" it, I am sure I would be on the top 10 list of world famous procrastinators, however that seems like hard work, but I am sure I will get around to it one day.

I spent most of this winter procrastinating when it came to running. The weather was particularly dismal here. Okay, it's Vancouver, so it was a pretty typical winter, very wet and a bit on the cold side. Combined with life being more hectic than usual, it was pretty easy to skip a run and do other things. I mean, Starbucks don't earn their profit without the tireless work myself and others like me spend drinking coffee and reading books. It's a hard job and gawd damn it... some of us have to step up to the plate and be counted.

However, when it became clear I had to make a choice between getting out there and running OR going to the store and buying bigger pants; well running won. Trust me, I hate clothes shopping. It ranks on the list of things I would "prefer not to do", in-between dental work and probably going to a Celine Dion concert. So out came the black lycra, the winter jacket, toque and hacked water booties.

It became clear early on that my fitness had suffered a little , (okay, a lot) since I made the decision to buy 10lbs of Dairy Milk chocolate and then eat it. Even through the interweb I can hear certain phrases, something to do with a Bear's occupations in the woods and a fictional detective who was a huge opium addict. The image of me puffing and panting in the woods -because I was running people! Tut, some of you have dirty minds- is not that glamourous, so I was spurred on to get my butt into gear.

The Universe however can't have that. I mean where is the fun in that? So in a concerted effort to get me into whale sized pants, the Universe decided to throw a few challenges my way. The Universe has to have a laugh sometimes. Why should we have all the fun?

It's first challenge was to send the plague to the SD43 school system. Fine! It wasn't the plague, just a random collection of flu's and viruses designed to attack the kiddies, but not the adults. D is in Kindergarten this year, so is ripe for every strain of cough, cold and sniffle that is wandering about. In the last couple of months I have had a sick kid to look after. Poor lad, I don't think I have seen him so sick for a while. This has now resulted in a very nice bum-shaped dent on the sofa. The one thing that goes with sick kids, is a bored Mamma sitting next to them, because it's the sick kids aim in life to pass on said sickness. You can only do that with close, snotty nosed, contact with primary caregiver. Despite D's best efforts, I however managed to avoid the germs and remain healthy, if a little bum-numb from all the sitting.

D was back in school, so the Universe needed to come up with something more elegant. Enter stage-left; potentially rabid, ferocious dog the size of a walrus. Again, you got me, it wasn't any of those. It was however a very sweet, brown, standard poodle (probably puppy), who wanted to play. It's way of getting me to play, was to bite me. On the calf!! I mean, we don't need calves for running, do we? It's not important, is it? I couldn't believe it. It's not as if the dog was being overly antagonistic or gave the appearance that it was going to bite. I was walking up to the trail start from my car, it bounded along, happy as a happy thing on happy Tuesday. I let him sniff me, and then it just bit me. I know my dress sense is a little bizarre and I hadn't showered that morning, but really, a little post-it note would have sufficed. I managed a couple of miles before I realised that yep, it was bleeding a little, I cut the run short and got it cleaned up.

So a couple of days missed, but, I still had the horrific image of clothes shopping in my head. I will not be deterred. (Even if I had to have a tetanus shot- damn, those things hurt!).

I even managed to organise D's Autism therapy, so that despite Spring break, I could still run every day. It was working. But the Universe is a powerful force; mere mortals cannot subvert it! So in comes the big guns. The plan to completely scupper my running schedule. SPRING. After months using the weather as an excuse not to run, the Universe decides to use the weather as the reason I CAN'T run. How funny is that?

Yesterday was a beautiful day. The temperatures were in the high 50's (about 15C). The sun was out, there was cool breeze from the mountains. I didn't need layers of clothing. No rain jacket. I even had to hunt for my sun-glasses. I celebrated this rare event, (sunshine in Vancouver), with a good hill trail run. It was glorious. I was fast, I didn't need to stop, I managed the hill with little problems. I was back in the game. Then I got back to the car. I then started sneezing. I haven't stopped since.

Allergies. Who would have thought it. My one weakness. Flu, rabid dogs, intermittent schedule couldn't deter me. Yet, give me itchy eyes, runny nose, blotchy face and I am done for. So in the end the Universe had to wipe out my ability to see and breathe to get it's laugh. Well, I have something to say about that Universe! Are you listening? It's called "over-the-counter" drugs. I am chocked full of them. In fact if I have any more I would probably rattle if you shook me. Give me a couple of days and I will be back out there. Just you see. Either that, or the typical Vancouver weather will kick in and we'll get rain. I never thought I would be glad to run in the rain... see Universe, your plan has backfired! HA! Okay... just thought... playing chicken with the Universe is probably not a good idea, right? Umm... Universe? Forget everything I just said.. You win, honest.. *cough*, *sniff*.

Do you think I got away with that?

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