I love running. I love getting out there; seeing the nature and smelling the air. It's my head clearer. However, something else has made my "running passion" taper off quicker than the weekly milage before an Ultra. I know what it is and I think I am only really just realising how much of an effect it is having on me.
The reason. My mother. She died about 5 months ago and since then my inclination to run has dried up more effectively than a mountain creek in summer. I know this is grief, and I know at some point this will get better, but I want to know when. How do I get my arse into gear and push myself to get onto those trails and get muddy.
The ironic thing is that this is not what she would have wanted. I know this; yet my body aches and my heart is sore and I just don't feel I have the energy to get the stinky bits of rubber onto my feet and get out there.
So how do I solve this? I honestly don't know. I don't want to run alone. Perhaps I don't want to be left alone to think; yet this is really my only option. I am starting to join a running club and I think that will help, but it is only once a week. I am trying to drag friends out to run, but they have this absurd thought that I am a good runner, (which I am not), so they always decline. No matter how much I try and persuade them, I can't find anyone willing to run with me. Perhaps I should check the smell from my armpits before asking!
So come on guys? Honestly I am asking here! How the hell do I get out of this "running funk"? How do I get my "mojo" back? Because frankly I hate this!