I also know there should be a second part to the whole 'My son, did we miss things..' blog I started earlier, but to be fair I just need to rant and rave.
So after much deliberation, my husband and I have finally decided to put down the thousands of dollars we need to get my son tested for Autistic Spectrum Disorder. He has his assessment next week. He is down to have an assessment via the state health department, but that isn't available for the next 12 months. At that time, he would be in Kindergarten and without any help if he needs it. There is no funding without diagnosis, and it is quite clear that he needs help.
I have to admit, even at this point I am not sure which way it is going to go. It sounds weird that we would spend thousands of dollars on an assessment without being certain about how it is going to pan out. I think that is the problem with ASD. It's not a definitive line.
Compare D's behaviour from the beginning of January to his behaviour today and I think you can see why. If you saw D at the beginning of the school term, you would have wondered what all the fuss was about. He had a few little quirks, but nothing that warranted mention from the class teacher.
This week was a different matter. D has been a little 'off' for a couple of weeks, but this has now been compounded by a week of endless chores and running around. He is tired. He is tired from school, he is tired from home and he is finding it very hard to keep himself together. Every little ASD funny that has manifested itself occasionally, have ALL returned this week. You look at him and it is clear he has ASD.
He screams at every new noise. He cannot deal with any transition. He cannot pick up on non-verbal signals. He has no empathy. His language skills have decreased to the point where even I am not sure what he is saying. He is not aware of where is arms and legs are - in fact today I am not even sure he can stand up straight. He is unable to look at you. He won't respond to you. He is easily frustrated and is acting out aggressively. He twirls, he spins, he tries to bash into objects for comfort. He has NO idea what he is doing or thinking.
I am not sure if this is good or bad. Maybe, this will mean that the Doctors will pick up on his ASD traits more easily and diagnose him. If they saw him in January, I doubt that would have happened. This will give him the help he needs. It's hard though. Seeing him so clearly out of control and not really being able to do anything about it. It's hard having to deal with this. This is like it was 2 years ago when he had NO control and we had NO idea. When I was unable to leave him for a minute. When he had to be constantly supervised and reminded.
I suppose I am just suffering from those 'blues' you get when you have a restless night after your child has been sleeping through. When they regress after being toilet trained. You forget how hard it was and then you are unfortunately reminded.
I know this is a phase and with a chill-out week he will bounce back. I just wish it was soon, but not so soon that it means he won't be helped.
I can feel that the next couple of weeks will involve a large amount of wine, sedatives and barefoot running! Three things that are NOT mentioned in any parenting manual!